Title: Ohno Satoshi's 29 positions
Pairing: Ohmiya
Rating: G
A/N: First time writing.

( Ohno Satoshi's 29 positions, by Aiba M. )

I'm back!

Earlier than I thought, with a powerful computer!

I couldn't be happier! <3

I`ll be off for a while, since my computer decided to fail on me.

See you in a couple of weeks (until it gets repaired...)

These past days have been quite busy; studying for Noryoku Shiken in December, studying for Cambridge's CAE, studying Literature for next month. And... Rio de Janeiro.

It was my first time visiting Rio de Janeiro, The Marvelous City, as it is named. I'll post some pictures later. We visited Christ the Redeemer, Sugarloaf Mountain, Guanabara Bay and Maracanã Stadium, one of the world's largest soccer stadiums. Yeah, Maracanã is huge and all, but I'm not a soccer fan, so... yeah, it was nice.

The view from both Christ the Redeemer and Sugarloaf Mountain are breathtaking; I'd never met so many tourists in my life as I met at Christ. Chinese, Italian, French, Australian, Japanese; it's nice to see so many people from other countries visiting Brazil, because really, Brazil can be damn boring. Especially São Paulo.

Rio de Janeiro is definitely marvelous, but nothing compares to the tour by boat on the Guanabara Bay. I don't like beaches, I don't like the sand, but I do love the sea, the ocean. SImply the water. And this trip through Guanabara Bay was the best trip I've ever done in my life.

I'll work hard, get rich, buy a nice boat and live the rest of my life on Guanabara Bay.

It may sounds stupid, but if you visit there at least once, you'll know what I mean.

I never thought an Ohmiya fanfiction would help me so much.

Actually, I never thought a fanfiction would do the damn job of figuring me out.

In the story, Nino cares too much about people around him... liking them or/and loving them. But he's also afraid that they won't feel the same, they'll leave him.

And then, doubts I didn't even remember I had were gone.

That fear of rejection... that's exactly what I feel.

And after that, everything made sense. All doubts, all fears; little by little, I was able to connect them and figure them out.

It doesn't mean I already found a solution to all them, but at least, I know where and how to start.

Gackt will be on VS Arashi next Saturday.

Shit...

Gackt and Ohno in the same TV show?

Without other singers and groups to bother?

And competing?

Damn, a week is too damn long...

I didn't expect something like this would happen.

I always thought he was immortal. Or kind of.

Why would you think about your idol's death? You avoid this topic as much as you can, but you can't deny that your idol is a human, and soon or later he's gonna die, just like your gran'pa (when I was 3 years old, I thought my gran'pa was immortal, really).

Ahh, now I'm feeling depressed. Michael Jackson's dead.

50 years old. Too young.

His concert would be next month, and I was waiting for a DVD or something.

.
.
.

I'm damn depressed. I'm a big Michael Jackson fan, you know.

Gonna listen some of his musics tonight.

Last week, while I was reading my friends' entries, I felt like reading my old entries.

And there were lots of them. Some of them were open for everyone to read, some of them were friend-locked. Most of them were private. Those were memories that I just posted here because I was afraid I would eventually forget.

And I wasn't wrong, some memories were completely forgotten. 

It felt so good reading them, remembering all those times, like it just happened yesterday.

But some of those memories were sad memories.

I never thought it would be so painful to read them, to revive all my ghosts, to feel that pain in my heart, all over again. Stories about my childhood, about my dearest and beloved one; stories about my fears, my tears. Those memories brought tears back to my eyes.

And somehow, after reading them all, I felt relieved, lighten. It felt good.

After reviving those memories, I thought it would be the best to delete them. And that's what I did. Entry after entry, I deleted them all, freeing this LJ from those memories, freeing myself from my past.

From now on, this will be a new LiveJournal. A good way to celebrate its 5th Anniversary.

Five years using this LJ, keeping memories, sharing thoughts. That's way too much time.

I'm not dead.

And I still remember my password.

Good enough!

Have you ever listened a song and felt like you were hovering? Felt like you're the only person in the world? Trees, flowers, sky, sun, wind. And you. The nature and you.

I can see this in my mind. Closing my eyes, I can feel the wind running through me, taking all my sadness, all my happiness. Leaving nothing to me but the peaceful feeling of the song within me.

I'm listening Sakamoto Ryuichi. He is a Japanese musician, composer, producer and actor. He does not sing, so all his songs are melodies. He is a genius.

And Furyo [piano] is my favorite.

First is a smooth melody, a soft piano with violin and cello. Then, comes the rough melody. A furious piano, a strong violin and a calm but strong cello.

The smoothness takes my soul, taking me from the storm of this life and leaving me in my imagination, where my body is hovering, is flying to the clouds. It's so peaceful.

The roughness makes me feel the grass under my feet. The wind running through my body, through the flowers, through the trees. It feels like anger and anguish. But then, the song is ending and you know that the wind only cleans you. Nothing is going to bother me, it's just me and the endless sky.

It's confunsing post, but I wanted to share this feeling and this song with my friends.

So they can feel the same thrill I feel when listening this song.